Gym

Pump up the jam
pump it up
while your feet are stomping
And the jam is pumping
look ahead the crowd is ....gyming !!! Yes, that´s right

When I was young and people thought I looked nice (ppl means a little bit older guys in on their desperate days, where I have another 5 years still), I never thought that I need go to gym or do any sports at all... All I needed was to be cute and hot in my boyish shape (but on that time, my IQ wasn´t the same number as my height now, I thought I will be like this forever....) No reason to laugh

So now I am in the gym... I know why I am there, but why the other guys are there... I know that everyone is pumping up, making this awful inspirational exercise-sounds and mixing protein shakes... But what is the ugly truth ( no comparment with the movie)

1. WORK - The modern role-models... In Hollywood you can´t get the role without a perfect six-pack... The A-list is full of yummi male actors who look photoshop perfect... And they have to sell the movie.. So body as a work item ( no sexual way )... But me, some other gays and all the girls and some cougars are running to cinemas if they know that Ryan Rey/Gosling or this Thor guy have a topless moment... So sex sells and these bodies makes us fantasies about having dream sex with these actors

(This is Thor aka Chris something Miley Cyrus brother-in-law, I guess)


2. VANITY – Beach, «sex on the beach» (coctail and activity), volley-ball and so on... OMG who doesn´t look perfect in the beach... wow, know I know why people wearing sunglasses in beach... Perfect use for staring hot guys. Do have this sort of Daniel Craig 007 moment: coming out of the sea, wet body, speedos, perfect chest and pack....

....A napkin please.... !!!

And all the eyes are on these hotties, no one wants to see plus-size hairy (wo)men. To be cool in the beach and get them all in the club.... ( and then in the morning get rid of crabs...)

(its actually Calvin Klein Bold underwear campaign but gives the vanity mood 100%)



3. ANGER MANAGMENT – bad boss, awful day in the office or f**king knows what else... The steam must be directed somewhere.... So ppl (read gays) do drama, so crazies burn stuff, real criminals hurt people.. And some just go to boxing training, put the boss face on boxing bag and beat the s**t out of them... And exercising is good for the body and then ppl are calmer than ever... And let the bag gets it instead of people

(keep it to gym an not to office)






4. COMPETITION – like the evil queen asked the mirror who was the nicest in the world, the same way men and again women build up their bodies to be the best... Oghhhhh... What people won´t do to be the best...? Spend so much time in gym, have special diets and paint body with oil....And Zac Efron said that (yes, he still does matter - have you seen his pic when his holding on on his - just google, sort of a gay dream... why my hand is not there)...that sleeping and resting is also good for body-building... To miss out all the junk-food, alcohol and so on... This is worse than high-school or army..

Same subject vol 2. And actually also competing against younger guys in the club. When we are nice young and beautiful, it doesn´t matter how we look like (read this thin, stupid, and sexy, and recommended is shaved.... question of taste, actually ) we still get what we want, But every year later when our hair fall from our head to our ass and back, and sunglasses are for hiding wrinkles and not sleepless eyes, we dont have much more to offer that our steamy hot body... Body for sex and brain for .... ???? As long as they are smart enough leave after and can dial the taxi, it works... Yes, hot body usually provides more action... Don´t lose hopes, nerds... Everyone has different taste !



5. FUN – just to go to gym, cruise the cute guys, enjoy the locker-room ( and hope that Pornotube movie trailer comes actually true), or have a crazy fun fashionista moment or just to carry the gym bag and tell ppl that «I just came from training" and have the excuse not to meet annoying friends...

(OMG...training is so hardddddd and so hotttt...this tank top is couture)

But by the end of the day, it doesn´t matter why we are in the gym... All kind of training and healthy lifestyle is good for longer and healthier life

Why I am in the gym... Like Gossip Girls says «That´s one secret, I never tell» XOXO

So PUMP IT PUMP IT...