Casting

I think this is my chance (finally)... Everyone has already heard that Charlie Hunman isn´t interested playing fucked up Christian Grey and stepped back from the movie... And now is casting back on....  Even I am not very big fan of this "desperate mid-life-crisis woman´s sexual fantasy book" but just being in the movie would be just great... And just to spank a good-looking Dakota Johnson (I even dont know who she is)... To show how invested I am into that project - I tied up myself in front of camera and tried to portrait 50 ways of Grey... (I think he had chest-hair in the book and had more hair on his head) But I didn´t put so much effort into book cos Hustler TV showed better and dirtier version of this sex fantasy...

                               AM I THE NEW CHRISTIAN GREY ??? 

But its not a first time when I tried to cast for movie or a tv-show. Obsession about fame has just got over me since ther first time I stepped into spotlight in kinder-garden at some stupid children show. My mom teached me never to give up... So last 25 years I have done EVERYTHING on my way to fame and success...  Uuuhhh, it kills to write the honest truth about reality... So I will just stop and show my casting pics...

My casting history...

ZORRO

was my first cable-tv hero... Ahh, its a lie. Just a sweaty mexican man with a moustache looked like great guy to dream... He always knew how to handle his tools... eyes were covered with black silk... Best side-kick ever - horse - the animal never stole any spotlight from the hero... They didn´t want me - my english accent was to good- they looked for a man who´s english was very bad

  

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Everyone knows that I am againt animal cruelty and abuse... So after I saw first movie of "Free Willy" I decided that I wanna help that little fishy and get him free from the swimming pool where he was trapped... So I send my under water pic for "Free Willy 2" movie...  But they didn´t want me... producer thought that I look more like a starfish than a whale...

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Desperate Housewives

Remember, when these ladies kicked in to our tv life... Cooking and house-keeping came more popular than any Britney song and cocaine... Wisteria Lane was amazing place to live (except more than 30 murders and death in the block) And every person who lived there was CRAZY... sounded like a perfect role to me..  Drinking martinis, bitching about neighbours, fighting with frenemies, have a life-lesson by the end of episode and just a keep an eye to all boys who were cast (after 5th season) as sons in the families ( Shawn Pyfrom, Beau Mirchoff and Max and Charlie Carver )... So after several years of eating apples and drinking Chablis like Bree, I still didn´t get the role - reason - I was too bitchy, cos acting bitchy and being bitch isn´t the same thing... ahhh, stupid !!!!

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MAGIC MIKE

Naked men, great bodies  - is there more reason to need to know  why I went Magic Mike casting... Ohh, there is - its a true story about Channing Tatum´s life... (I hope I wrote his name right without google it first)... Never got the part but I as consolation prize I got a membership for the gym ??

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REALITY TV

So after several attemps to become actor, singer, dancer, famous and so on failed... All I had to do (actually was my last hope) - reality TV....  Geordie Shore was the best place to go... Jersey Shore was way too complicated and less sex... But these British kids are crazy and they like todrink, party and drama more -  CHECK ME IN !!!!!   Never made it there, I missed the bust to airport cos I was way to drunk....

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So my past has been cloudy... I hope being Christian grey helps me out... And if not, then I try and try until I will become a Lifetime movie - "A true Wanna-be Story"